In a nutshell, so to speak. ;)
Obviously, my first choice would have been to remain healthy and active but it was not meant to be. Fighting against it was counter-productive and while I'd researched a lot, worked as diligently as I could to improve my health and improved as much as I could, I've needed to accept I will never be the version of me I once was.
While this has meant losing a lot of "me" and I am sad at losing those things, I've come to the realization focusing on those things, just makes it worse. Worse is not where I wanted to be so a new perspective is what I needed.
With baby steps, I began to look for anything at all that would be positive. I must confess, at first try I could not find anything even remotely positive. As I kept at it though, a few things began to emerge.
- I'd learned to give up my "talent" of worrying. So freeing!!
- I no longer sweated the small stuff
- Perfectionism -- gone!
- I'm more easy going
- I didn't stress about the small stuff (and even some of the bigger stuff!)
- learned the art of saying, "no" (and not feel guilty about it)
- improved ability to advocate for myself
- Improved diet meant improvement in other previous medical issues
(This is a list in progress which I consciously add to as I go)
In many areas, I am in a much better place than I was before chronic illness. For one (and a big one at that), the unnecessary, self-induced stress I used to endure would have surely taken its toll on me had I not learned to deal with it in a more effective way.
I am truly thankful for that.
So today, I choose to focus on the positives in order to keep
Balance....despite the chaos!
(......to be continued! Stay tuned for part 2! )